So, I know you all have heard about the people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

WELL!........
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs! It was just that quick. the replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hot and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again!

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago, I realized my arms had been switched as well. On morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary! My body was being replaced one section at a time.

What could they do to me next?

Well, all of a sudden, my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck. That was when I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts! Stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX! This is happening to women everywhere, every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone has stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Lately, I've noticed that these same thieves are getting into my closet and they are shrinking my clothes!
HOW DO THEY DO IT!?!?!?!?!

Be sure to warn all your lady friends... They are bound to be hit by these thieves!"

I thought this was funny and we could all use a laugh!

Great News!!

Its a GIRL!
Jordan and Whitney had their ultra sound and she was anything but modest!!
I hate to have to say "I told you so"- But I did tell him that it would be a she!!
Grandmas just know these things!
I am so HAPPY for them, and for us- can't wait to meet this little girl.

Another Great News moment- Kelcey passed her state boards on Monday! We are so happy- this has been a big worry for her- and she was awesome!

As for the other good news- the ring is in the mail- he designed and ordered and we are waiting, and waiting......... come on Ben! GEESH!

Happy Birthday

Hope its a great day!
Ben asked Ross if he could talk to him last night- Ross said "Do I need my shotgun?"
Ben answered "Yes, I would like to go rabbit hunting on Saturday."
I think he is going to fit in just perfectly!
We already love him and he makes Kelcey so happy!
Thats all I can say right now- the rest will have to wait until its really officially official!
Love you Kelcey-

Shelli needs- Ross needs

Ok... you google your name and needs (shelli needs) and write down the first 10 web sites that are listed. It is a good laugh.

Shelli needs:
1- 7 Caged Tigers
2- Real Estate
3- Hells Bells (know where I can get them??)
4- a face lift (thanks- now can you help me convince Ross)
5- Insurance
6- to leave for work
7- new laundry (whats wrong with my old laundry?)
8- intervention and treatment (I am sure this relates to my facebook addiction)
9- help buying (maybe the real estate?)
10- a moving van

Ross needs...
1-time to fix past foibles (OH REALLY?)
2-A fro-pick (I think he has one in one of those boxes from the 80's)
3- to come out of the closet (really, there is nothing in there for you- GET OUT!)
4- some puzzle solving skills
5- to calm down (I second that!)
6- your prayers (PLEASE)
7-Donna to forgive him--- (OHHHH REALLY? WE ARE SO GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS!)
8-to go back to school
9- to give up now
10- a chippy job- (golfer, wood chipper, chip eater?)

I stole this from Becky- and it was very funny!
You should try it!

Dragon Breath

Jayce has foot nails, leg pits, leg bows, and puts on leg sleeves instead of pants- so I was not too surprised when he woke up last week with Dragon Breath- After all we have been watching Harry Potter non-stop for the last 30 days- dragons breath sounded like a very normal thing. Dragons breath made him tired and grouchy- and the fire in his belly hurt. I thought he was taking the imagination a bit far- and then I woke up with dragon breath!
Dragons Breath makes your throat burn- not really sore- but it burns- and it makes you feel SO tired- I even fell asleep during the Temple dedication-right in my chair- and the fire in my belly was rotten, and it makes you feel pretty grumpy, hence the rotten Monday. I think we have kicked that dragon throat for now, And I hope it stays away from you!

My Husbands Wife...............

Really needs a break!
Today I am venting! I do not like Monday- Its the day that I re-do everything that I did on Saturday-- Why cant the house just stay clean?? To top it off- today has been worse than a normally bad Monday- and its only 11:00-
I begin with waking Kelcey- because she HAS to be to work by 9:00- so 7:45 I am telling her to get up. I take Bay to school- wake Kelcey again- get a good workout in- wake Kelcey again, it is now 9! I get a shower- step out and here's Kelcey- she needs her Social Sec card and Birth Certificate-NOW- I ask- can I get dressed? Please? Preferably without an audience?? Long story short- it is now MY fault that she is an hour late for work and I have personally ruined her life because I cant seem to locate what she needs.- My naturally "curly everywhere you dont want it curly" hair has dried in this funky kind of do- I have cried my make-up off- my contacts are all weird- and I am just tired of everyone! I need a break!

And then she crossed the line!

So- I had to put some tough love into action!
This was the worst day and the best day- really!
She made choices that were effecting our home and her siblings- she decided that she knew what was best for herself- so I kicked her out! I was not proud of that- BUT I knew it had to happen. She could choose to go live with the very people that were providing her with the "fun" life that she felt she wanted- OR she could choose to straighten up and be part of this home! Totally her choice! It took her a few days- but before she was welcome back into our home, she had made some decisions that will effect the rest of her life!
I know it has not been easy. She had to give up all of her friends, buckle down in school and get a job! I am proud to say that she has done this and more and that I am so proud of her! It was a long tough road! I have learned so much from her and I am thrilled to have her as my daughter!
I have a feeling about the 19th birthday! I think it will be the birthday that she will remember forever! Happy Birthday Kelcey! We love you!