Wednesday, May 26, 2010

My Portfolio......

Well, not mine, but my Jayce's Portfolio.
Every Kindergartner needs one.
I wont share the entire contents with you- most of it is normal Jayce stuff- you know, Robots and space ships and aliens and potions-
The self portrait of himself at 100 years old shows him with a very long neck and a small ball of hair on top of a very blue head- "that's because I'm dead"
He is "thankful for invention's"
and his best advice is "Always wear a parachute when jumping out of an airplane."
The best is the idiom's (I have had random staff ladies stop me in the hall and ask "Are you Jayce's mom?" And then they have told me about some of the things he has said when asked to complete the idiom..... so I was prepared)
Actions speak louder than a frog.
A penny saved is a penny in your pocket.
Birds of a feather do nothing.
Great minds think everything.
Stuck between a rock and a shoe.
All that glitters is not big.
GOO is thicker than water.
And my favorite..... Never Stab the hand that feeds you!

And for your Thanksgiving preparations- This is Jayce's take on HOW TO COOK A TURKEY!
You get the food from the farm. You need Ham, pickles, crayon and a grasshopper.
Stuff the ham with grasshoppers then melt the crayon on top. Cook for 10 seconds. Serve with chicken, crab, roast beef and a salad.

Interesting that there is no TURKEY involved:)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Tree blood...............

I know you have been dying to know what tree blood does to you if you are not a real tree vampire. (Again, if this makes no sense- you need to read the previous two posts.)
You begin to have a scratchy sore throat. Then the ears begin to hurt and finally the sinus's fill with snot. The antibiotic that the doc puts you on for the double ear infection, strep throat and sinus infection does a number on the insides of you so you don't dare get too far from the john- When you finally feel better you get the scratchy, no voice disease and the chills.
I have learned my lesson. No more tree blood tasting for me!