Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Todays Lesson-

Its a package deal today- two for the price of one! And the teacher is Jayce!
Probably best told in his own words.

Days ago I went to "that place where I had no cavities." I liked it there and "that Guy" said "good job on brushing your teeth Jayce. Keep up the good work. You should brush whenever you want- morning, day or night!" I like "that guy" and even I woke up at like 3:00 in the morning and said to my mom that I needed to go brush my teeth because "that Guy" said I should do it whenever I think about it!

Mom thinks she needs to have a little CHAT with that Guy!

When I brushed my teeth on Sunday I remembered about church and I told my mom and dad that I dont wish to be FOO-WISH.

DUMB STARES- what the heck is foo-wish?? Ross and I have no clue but that doesnt stop him. Keep in mind his mouth is full of toothpaste and a toothbrush during this lesson- he was difficult to understand!

I should say my prayers and brush my teeth and then I wont be foo-wish. I should do good things- then I wont be foo-wish. I should be kind and then I wont be foo-wish!

Yep! Thats a great lesson! I am so grateful for our great primary. I am trying to be grateful for "that Guy" too- He's getting on my nerves- I dont enjoy getting up at 3 AM to brush- Ill have to work that!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Today I was pulled over--- IN MY GARAGE!!

I had just picked up Baylie from School. We stopped at the mailbox as we came into our circle- its 2 houses down. This is where the officer began tracking me! From the mailbox to the house I managed an alarming speed of 15 MPH, all while steering the vehicle, pushing the garage door opener, and singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song at the top of my lungs. Jayce and Kohen sang along! Is it any wonder that I didnt see his lights or hear his siren? He was on a motorcycle- the guy was hard to see! So, I pull into the garage and reach up to put the door down- and MR. 6 foot 11(give or take a few inches) 250 LB motorcycle cop steps through the door and yells "Dont you dare lower this door!" GEESH! Scared the kids and myself! He waltzes into the garage, Black Hooker boots, skin tight black pants tucked into the boots, leather jacket and black sun glasses, and a shiny new white helmet (which he NEVER removed!)
"Mam, Didnt you see me?" Thats an obvious "NO sir! I did not. "I honked my horn and flashed my lights at you." I said I did not see you. Where were you?
"I chased you from your mailbox!" Please know that this man was not a happy man. He was very serious! So that 15 MPH drive from my mailbox to the house must have felt like a high-speed chase to him- I am wondering at this point if he has called for back-up. The good news is that this high-speed chase lead him directly to my garage! Hows that for a catch! He had NO sense of humor! I get him all the "stuff" he needs while he informs me that I have a tail light out and my registration seems to be expired. I look at the plate and -YEP- its expired! I am a guilty woman. I tell him to please write the ticket and I will take the kids inside- since they are both crying and upset-- He walks to his motorcycle- which still has lights running- so I thought we had a deal! I take the kids inside- my cute neighbor comes over and we had a little chuckle at his expense in the kitchen and then I returned to the garage only to be scolded for leaving the "crime scene"= The crime being an expired registration and burnt out tail light- the scene being my garage. Are you serious Mr. Policeman? "Yes- Do you know that when you entered your home I have no way of knowing if you are going in to get your shotgun or another form of weapon- You need to understand that!" YES SIR!! He is now standing practically on top of me with his finger shaking in my face. YES SIR!! As he turns to leave he hits his head on the stroller that is hanging in the garage! Its a good thing that shiny white helmet was firmly in place- otherwise, who knows what could have happened!

posted by shell @ 2:53 PM 0 Comments

Thursday, October 16, 2008


If you have a dryer- YOU NEED TO READ THIS!!
If you haven't read my earlier post- POWER, and a Diet Coke- stop right now and read that first!!
If you have already read that- then all I can say is --- read on!
Today was like any other day. Busy. I was entertaining Jayce and Kohen and took a quick break to swap the laundry out- you know the drill- dry clothes to the couch to be folded sometime, hopefully today!, and wet stuff to the dryer, then start another load. We all do it day after day- does not take much thought!
So- I walk out of the laundry room and instantly begin wondering where the kitten is- I have Kohen and Jayce after all- and they do love to chase her or put her in boxes- stuff like that. So I ask them- have you seen the kitten- NO, they say. I think this is weird because she generally follows me every where. I sat down to try to get some of my book work done and I cant stop thinking about this kitten- where could she be??
I hear a clunk, clunk in the dryer. You guessed it- She was in there! I run to the dryer and open the door thinking "PLEASE don't let her be in here!" I see the clothes moving- good sign I think- shes moving at least. After all how many of us would survive 5 minutes in the dryer?
The Kitty I pulled out of the dryer was panting and had bulging eyes and a look that scared me! She was bleeding from her mouth and her nose a bit. What would you do?? I called the paramedic- Ross and he ignored my call- So I called the EMT Jordan , who said "I don't know what to tell ya!" - Should I call 911?? Ross would kill me, I know, but its tempting. So I snuggle the panting little kitten in a towel and say a prayer, some higher power should be able to help me with this. I cant just watch her die, so I lay her down by the water and leave the room. I check on her seconds later, she is still panting and she looks just just like a cat named "SCREECH" should look- scary! Ross calls and through the laughter I realize he is not going to be any help at all- he can hardly wait to hang up on me and go tell the guys what his goofy wife did this time- So I am on my own.
Well, she is still alive at this time. She's drinking water and jumping around. She has a big ding on her head. POOR KITTY! But I think she could pull through!
SO, thus the URGENT WARNING! ALWAYS CHECK YOUR DRYER BEFORE YOU START IT- You never know what might be in there!!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

POWER- and a Diet Coke!

Jayce has Special Power- this is not news to anyone! The POWERS range from "water throwing" to "Flame Control" (And Ross- I don't think this has anything to do with Fire Fighting!) I don't know what special powers might creep out- and I cant prepare for the unknown, so I just roll with it!

Shelli has a Diet Coke addiction- this also is not news to anyone!! I gave it up for about three months. I didn't remember why I gave it up- just seemed like a great idea! Then I took it back up about two months ago. Now I remember why I gave it up. It was the constant headache- oh- how I dislike those migraines! and the sick to the stomach- all day- every day feeling!

Friday was a bad day! Every room Jayce walked into turned into a disaster zone-
Why do children shred Toilet Paper while they sit on the toilet? Why does the hand towel end up in the sink, soaked, when he washes his hands? Why does half a bottle of hand soap need to be squirted into the toilet? Why does my wash machine need thirteen scoops of detergent in it when I am not even washing today? Why does the kitten need to be in the dryer? (At least it wasn't running!) Why can I not keep up with this child??? And it is simple- he has power and I NEED a Diet Coke.

So we stop at my favorite Diet coke store on the way to Pre-school. Its only noon, but I feel like it should be bedtime! My favorite Diet Coke shop has good crushed ice and its on the way- so we get out of the car and go in. Jayce instantly disappears- I find him, explain AGAIN why he needs to stay by me- I waited too long for this little guy and I wont have him kidnapped. Please Jayce, Stay with me!
I get the good ice- I go for the Diet Coke and he is gone again. I find him- explain the whole stay near me AGAIN! and he says- "Mom I cant help it- I have uncontrolled visibility power. (It comes out "Uncontrowed Visibiwity power" ) What is this power and how did you get it? "Well, It cant be expwained- some people just get it!" Great- I am guessing that its shows itself through "unexplained disappearing" You hide because you have power to be invisible- I think I am getting this and I really want that Diet Coke- So I had to have some power of my own!
So- I tell him- I know just what to do about this. I will use my amazing power to tie up children with my uncontrollable invisible rope. Nobody, and no power is greater than this rope so once I tie you up, you will not be able to move until I take the rope off!
Well, it worked- I still got some power in me!!!
I turn to get my drink and he stands statue still next to me. A man walks in and looks at Jayce and says "your a good boy" He says "My mom tied me up!"
Thanks Jayce! So I'm ready to go- and guess what- He cant walk while he is tied up- I will have to carry him. Oh I can play this game buddy- I will now use my super untying power to release you!
Great idea- didn't work.
I have now lost the power so I had to carry the stiff as a board boy to the car- karate chop (Gently of course!) his tummy to bend him to the car seat- Now we are ready to go!!
I jump in the car and put it into reverse before any other power sneaks up on me- and I look at the hood of the car just in time to see my diet coke fall to the ground! RATS!
Would I look silly if I jumped out of the car and gathered the ice and shoved it into my mouth? Maybe I could suck the drops of Diet Cole off the hood???
OH -BOY!!!!! It took all my power to be a lady and just drive away!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Somethings are best left- UNKNOWN!

Our family had planned to go camping over conference weekend- we havent had our trailer out much over the past year, so this was a big deal and we were looking forward to it. Then Baylie has a friend who invites her to go to conference with her for the Saturday afternoon session. How could we say no?!? SO, we cancelled the camping- and we sent her to conference with her friend and, we thought, her friends family. When she returned home we asked her all about it and only then did we find out that the parents dropped Baylie and her friend off at the Conference center, and the girls went to the Gateway mall afterwards and rode trax home. This all sounds just fine as I sit here telling you about it- but, believe me, I was GRRRRRRRR!! mad about the whole thing. Why didnt they just call and ask me to pick them up??? What parent would let her daughter tromp around Salt Lake after conference, and ride tracks home without her mother at her side???? Well, IF I had know this was happening I would have refused to let her go! So I guess somethings are best left unknown! She had a great time! She returned home safetly! She is 14 after all- BUT she better NEVER do that again!

Wisdom- (as in TEETH)

Kelcey had her Wisdom teeth removed last Friday! It was a quick procedure- about an hour start to finish! She handled it better than we expected. I was NOT looking forward to all sorts of drama- I mean, this is the 18 year old that FREAKS when she has to have a throat culture done- it takes me, 4 nurses and a doctor to hold her down, so I was not at all upset when Ross volunteered to take her to the appointment!
Turns out that the anisthesiologist (Spelled wrong- I know!) was a great friend of our sister-in-law Cheri's boyfriend Kevin. SO Ross hit it off with him and the chat session began and before they knew it, Kelcey was finished! She has been in a bit of pain but feeling pretty great today. She's back to school and work and thats good news for all of us!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008