The lady in the cubicle....

That is how life has been for me- my identity has become this. 

I am the lady in the cubicle on the 2nd floor, down the hall, to the right, directly behind the sign that says

"Compliance Office"

"Shelly Fowlks"

 Yes- the name is even spelled wrong. I don't mind. I don't think anyone will ever notice.

I do love my job. I have become so HIPAA compliant that I can't even talk to myself anymore. But I am grateful to have work. Life has offered  us some changes again which are also really good for us- hard, but good. After having Ross home every night for the last 5 years, he has been moved back to the field as a Battalion Chief. This means 48 hour shifts with 96 hours off in between- but the constant manning staffing has been crazy so he has been working 96 hours on and we have been lucky to have him home for 48 hours in between. 

We call that alot of hours away from home- but Ross calls it Christmas and school and savings- which sounds pretty good, most of the time.....but there are times during the 96 hour shift that I feel like I am going bananas! We wake-up, prepare for the day, leave the house, drop off at school, rush to my cubicle, rush to the school, rush home to get homework and dinner started and then eat and clean up and shower the boy and read scriptures and have family prayer and drop into bed.

I occasionally wish I could quit my job (but I do love it) but I do also long to have a day where I don't feel like a crazy mother-

-running around the house looking for shoes in the morning (and its MY shoes that I can never find- and its because the grand babies like to play in them)-

-When my boy has all the time he wants each morning to eat a balanced breakfast that is warm and homemade and served with juice and milk- okay scratch that. At least a bowl of microwaved oatmeal that he willing eats- that would be a nice change- I feel so awful when I have spent the morning saying 

"Jayce eat your breakfast" 

"take a few more bites" 

"you have 2 minutes to finish that" 

"What the heck have you been doing for the last two minutes?" 

"Didn't I tell you to eat?" 

"What in the WORLD have you been doing all this time Jayce?"

 "Seriously, you need to eat kid?" 

Until I finally shut up and dscide that he can just deal with it himself and if he is hungry at school its his own stinking fault- he will learn. Someday. 

The hassle after school exhausts me- just thinking about it makes my eyes cross. The kid that wont eat in the morning WILL NOT STOP EATING in the PM. I feel like a freaking all night restaurant chef- which is good since we spend plenty of time at the kitchen counter doing homework and reading and chatting and cooking together and laughing, talking about the day and sometimes he will even sing me the song that he is working on- or hum the tune for me-- sometimes Bay has time to tease Jayce- or she has time to just visit before she runs off to work-

Sometimes the grand babies stop by, which means that I get to see their moms and dads too- 

Oh, I love that time of day!

Okay- I feel better now

I am the lady in the cubicle on the 2nd floor, down the hall, to the right, directly behind the sign that says

"Compliance Office"

"Shelly Fowlks"

 Yes- the name is even spelled wrong. I don't mind. I don't think anyone will ever notice.

But at the end of the day I am still a mom and a grandma, and a wife--

Life is good!