ATTN: WalMart Shoppers- Shelli will be purchasing Mason Jars from the "Seasonal" Isle today. If you would like her to see your scars from your ankle/foot surgery, please form an orderly line to her right. If you would like to tell her about your spouse, child, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, grandchild, niece, nephew or neighbor that has broken his/her foot, form a line on her left. If you would like to discuss your grandmothers home canning skills, stand directly in front of her cart. Hold her cart with a firm grip while you explain to her the preferred storage possibilities of the canned goods. Remind her that you should never store food in an area that may be inhabited by black widow spiders. Tell her about the mating ritual of those spiders. And since you are on the subject, why not tell her (in detail) about the mating rituals of an even more deadly spider that resides in Australia. Thank You for Shopping at WalMart, and have a great day!
Every time I enter this store I feel surrounded by weirdos! But seriously, this dude with the grandma that cans and the spider mating stories was by far the creepiest!!!